I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

It’s a little early, it only being Christmas, to be figuring out resolutions for the New Year, but here I am, burning a santa shaped candle (probably bringing on serious repercussions for next year) hoping to make some promises of myself come true. I truly do want to basically forget my first semester of this year, except the last couple days perhaps, but the rest of it got me lost in emotion and agony. When I say a breaking up didn’t affect me, I’m lying. That’s the next part of my promise. I don’t want to lie anymore. There’s no point to it, and I hate covering myself up. Lastly, I want to find the love inside me again that I once had. I feel jaded now for some reason. Fuck that. The world may be coming to an end, but I’m going to watch it burn with a grin. I’m still the hand of God and I won’t be kept waiting around.

Never hope to forget. I wish I could remember more, and being an RA for the semester wasn’t all horrendous. The other RA on my floor quit with me and we became really good friends. Also, trying to completely quit lying – now there’s a tough one.