I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

There comes a certain sense of dread that goes through me when I think that my future is built on my present. At the times these things happened, I didn’t think, all I knew was that I was happy to finally say what had been on my mind. It was without considering how I might sound. It was honest. But now I think of the options set before me. What if I take these offers too late? What if this opportunity passes me by and it was the greatest thing I could have had. But I want to believe in destiny. I want to think that I’ll follow the paths of my dreams. Much like I decided before, I’ll just go along with what’s been said. Whatever comes will come. That’s the beauty of the future. You can’t make a call about it. It will always be the final stepping stone.

In other words, I’m having trouble deciding between two girls that are chasing me, and even considering going out with neither. Man, I wish I could be having such issues now.