I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

The last 24 hours have been the best I can remember for the semester, perhaps even the year. In fact, this week has been pretty amazing. Chris was right when he said things were looking good in my future. Somewhere in these 24 hours, my feelings about someone were intensified, making me care for her even less. I loved the anger, though. It wasn’t a bad thing. It showed me even more about her to despise. I hope to recover from this lack of sympathy towards her, but I may not. I can’t say right now how I would react to her dying. Within these last 24 hours I had only a few hours sleep, but I am awake more now than I have been in a long time. Within these last 24, I admitted my attraction to 2 girls that I had longed for in the past. One offered sex, the other offered something more, but I know both were offering the same thing. Everything that’s been running by me the last few days I get to talk about with the both of them, and I still have so much to say. My energy is back, but now I have a new dilemma. How to handle what I know. I want to find happiness in solitude & I don’t want sex, for a while. I don’t want to get in a relationship, because it will limit you, no matter how liberal it might seem. Maybe some day, I’ll be ready, but I’m not looking for true love any longer. I’ve even put destiny on hold because it’s the natural inclination of destiny to find its way along. I do what I do. I’ll find what I find. I don’t know the future. I just know I’ll be happy.

If you asked me today what the best day of my life was, I’d more than likely talk about the day I’m writing about here. I’m getting my facts a little twisted here in writing, though. Anyway, word was out that I’d broken up with my girlfriend, and I had two suitors come calling on the same day. Oh, and they both happened to be roommates, and knew the other was going to tell me how they felt (I did not approach them, as this entry suggests), so they were actually racing to find me on campus. Having two girls you’re attracted to make a move on you within hours of one another is an ego boost that you can’t imagine, and it put me right up on cloud 9. I would eventually pick one over the other, despite my reservations because I didn’t want to cause strife at the house they lived in. You’ll see…