I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

Life seems sometimes bizarre. Not so long ago I gave up everything in emotions. I told the sky that I no longer wanted these tribulations of looking a striving to impress. All I wanted was for everyone around me to be happy, all I wanted was to be fulfilled from their joy. Not so long ago I wrote how I had forgotten what it was like to have a crush and what it was like to kiss: Now I can tell you that I know. It makes me smile to think about it, laughing on occasion. I’m giddy. Stomach rose & dropped and my mind staticed. My body tensed and relaxed. Got it was a beautiful thing that I’ve missed so. Now I find myself thinking again. Thinking: the greatest crime any person trying to the truth can commit. I’m scared I don’t know what it all means. The truth is, I shouldn’t care. I just want to let it happen. Things matter, don’t get me wrong. Things don’t matter as disproportionately as I’m thinking now, though. I’m still smiling and that is a thing I could stand to do with more often. Life – I love how you treat me, no matter how you hand it to me.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly been waiting for this for a while. Here we are, my second year of college, and I’ve found my first college girlfriend. The next few years are filled with some great times. Hopefully I’m not a downer during them. Great description of a kiss here too. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the girl’s name is Noelle.