I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

I can worry about someone, cry for someone, I do not know that well. I can try to protect her form hurting again, try to prevent the emotion vampires which follow, guard her happiness, nurture it, so it can grow strong again. I can do this, only as a friend. I know then, that I am a good person.

Another entry about my friend Becky going through a break up. I do enjoy taking on the protector role. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think it’s because it allows me to show emotion without having to reveal anything about myself. The sick part of this is, I usually don’t fall for a girl unless I find myself put into this role with her early in the relationship. So I usually end up with “emotion vampires” myself.