I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

Doesn’t anyone else remember the time? When we used to be together over all. The girls could be there but they had to take second chair to us. I remember when spending the whole weekend with your friends was “the best”. The times will change, but I find it hard to change with them. I am lonely, but would I do the same in their position? I remember and miss the past that does not repeat itself and I cry for it every so often, as I do now.

I used to get so jealous when my friend’s would get a girlfriend. Not jealous becaue they had a girl; jealous because I knew I’d lose their attention. And this was all tinged with self-pity and insecurity. Ugh, remembering emotional states like this make me not long for the past at all.