I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

thought I could”, and I would not be lying. But I know that being with her for extended periods, say for example, the rest of my life, just wouldn’t work.

The sad thing is, now that it’s over, I know I was in love. Now I have no doubts. I wonder though, was I better of not have opening that Pandora’s Box? I was sad before love, but I’m feeling sadder after love.

All that aside, now I think, no, I know I’m in love again. It’s a tingling sensation that get’s me up at 4 AM, and I don’t mind. It gets me excited and hopeful for the future. Now I worry not if she loves me, but if I’ll be able to be with her.

She can’t stop me from loving her. That’s impossible. I would lay down my life for her. Time, I’m sure, will sort this little mystery out. That’s exciting.

Not once in this article have I talked of sex, and that is because of a personal belief of min. Sex is not real.

I do notknow exactly what I’m missing, but I don’t worry about it.

I used to cry at night because I was never in love. Sometimes I’ll think to myself, “Hey, I’ve never had sex.” And then I’ll just continue on.

Getting pretty saucy here in part three. The conclusion coming up.