I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

I don’t know, maybe I’m nutty, but I think fate is trying to get me to finish this writing project of mine. Things just keep happening that make me feel I’m being led to it. I realized another thing. I’m worrying too much about the future. I’m wasting my time wondering where I’m going and what to do. Instead, I should do whatever I want and stop fidgeting over the consequences of my actions. Fate will guide my hand, my gut reaction is what’s real here. If I do it I was supposed to do it. I know I’m destined for greatness, and there’s no avoiding destiny. All that has happened was meant to happen, all that hasn’t happened yet will come to me as it should. I just need to relax, follow my instincts and be kind to all the others. Why? Well, as you know, everyting you do is judged by the higer powers and every action you’ve taken will come back to you, in some way or form, in your own sweet time. I’m standing still while life rumbles by and that’s fine with me. As long as I get to see all the faces along the way and wave goodbye as theyh pass for the last time.

Wow. This is really sad. This entry, save for the over-explanatory second half, could be a summary of what I’m feeling right now. I hate it when history repeats itself right in front of my face.