I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

I still remember her, but how could I forget? Talking to my former love about my current infatuation only made me remember and love more.

But I did realize the difference in this game than the last. This time I pursue and am not being pursued. I only hope that she is also pursuing me in her own way, otherwise it is only one sided love that I will be with and I can say with experience, that will never last forever.

I have no doubts, however. If she is the one, and I’m very sure she is, I will love her through time.

I will succeed.

I will hold her love and be her love.

The best part about being in love in being in love. When your there, you feel it and know your trapped. Throwing away any chance of getting out is beautiful and staying bogged down becomes slow bliss.

Know love and come to know you’re in love. So when you find it and fall into it, you’ll know enough to stay in the pit and never want to look out again.

Love is like a pit you never want to look out of? I wonder if I mean a hole in the ground or a mosh pit on this. Either way, not a super flattering simile.

There’s an interesting pattern in my life that this entry made me realize. With every consecutive girlfriend I’ve had, I’ve switched from being pursuee to pursuer. Sue came onto me, then here I am chasing Sarah. My next girlfriend with be the one making the moves. The one after that, I’ll be the one to push things forward. Interesting. If this pattern continues, that means that I’m due for someone to hunt me down.