I have been writing in a journal on an almost-daily basis since I was 17 years old. This is a record of me going through each entry from the beginning, and commenting on the me from fifteen years ago.

The alcohol is the enemy of youth. As we cling to the bottle, we release our childhood. As more and more around me revell in their newfound ability to consume, I become more and more withered every day.

On the sperm side of my creation was excessive drink On the egg side, little, if any. The splitting sides, so split my sanity.

I like where I am at, but despair for all the other’s positions. We were so happy and young once — once. Only once. What has life done to me? Forced it’s child to grow, when he only wanted to play and love.

I didn’t ask for time’s curse, I shall escape it.

My dad had problems with alcohol, and this convinced me to never drink. My friends at the time were, like any normal teenagers, experimenting with alcohol. I hated it because my own principals didn’t allow me to join them, and I often found myself alone at home while everyone else was at a party. Actually, I was having a party of my own - a pity party. Between sips of 100% grade-A sour grape juice in this entry, I manage to blame my parents for my mental state.

I never drank alcohol until I was 22, and I finally did it after I recognized the real reason I hadn’t until that point. I was too mentally fucked up to add another chemical to the mix.