Hello! I am a gay robot from the future - but that is kind of redundant since everyone is a gay robot in the future. You see, in the year 2012 the FagaBomb will go off, destroying all humans and heterosexual robots. Don’t be sad. Believe me, a world consisting of only gay robots is the best! If you could only see it, you would agree. But you cannot. You will be dead.

The only way our world could be better is if we could somehow get the FagaBomb to go off earlier so we would have that much more time to make things even more awesome. For example, our gay robot scientists are researching a new kind of peanut butter. Everyone is anxiously awaiting its completion. Imagine if these scientists had a few extra years thanks to the FagaBomb detonating in 2009. Perhaps they would be finished and could move on to more pressing matters, such as a way to easily organize celebrity gossip.

This is why I, Fagatron 2093, am here. I was sent back in time to study you, find a way to efficiently destroy you, and document all of your ice cream flavors. You using computational boxes and portable jukeboxes to listen to excellent songs from a large and old recording album collection will subvert your culture and bring about premature FagaBomb ejaculation. This is a good trade. You will enjoy and learn. We will kill you faster.

So please to share this with your friends, enemies, those you are indifferent to, and the homeless. The harder you listen, the sooner things will be fabulous. Thank you.

INITIATE EPISODE ONE

CONTENTS:

	The Boyzz “Lean ‘N’ Mean” (1978)The 70’s were rough, y’all. It seems like you had to be a pussy to get a record deal, then along came this coked-out biker gang who beat rap artists to the punch by having multiple z’s in their name and they made an album that wasn’t great, but sounded like a breath of suicide exhaust compared to the rest of the dross out there. Applause, please.
	Tom Rush “Come To See Me Yesterday in the Merry Month Of” (1969)I like songs about bicycles built for hundreds of people, don’t you?
	Mother Earth “Temptation Took Control of Me and I Fell” (1971)For some reason, many great bands of the early 70’s found their origins in Madison, Wisconsin. Why? Who knows, but these guys did open for Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix, and their albums rock it straight out of the electrical socket, so let’s just accept.
	Mr. Malik “Hennessee” (1995)It’s always the ones who are ahead of their time that get left behind. Isn’t it sad? Mr. Malik was worshipping this ‘Very Special’ cognac when Busta and crew were poopin’ their pants. Sure, he threw the endo out the window, but you know how messed up THAT can get you.
	Delores Hall “The Wight Shifted (To My Side)” (1973)Her dress says innocent, but her legs say otherwise. Whatever happened to Delores? You got me because info on this gem is hard to come by.
	Zerra One “Rescue Me” (1987)Listening to this song blows my mind. Think about it, at some point in somebody’s life, this is exactly what they wanted to sound like. Unbelievable.